Sisyphean

"... Sisyphus was compelled to roll a big stone up a steep hill; but before it reached the top of the hill the stone always rolled down, and Sisyphus had to begin all over again." (Odyssey, xi. 593).

Sometimes I can't help but compare the Philippines' current predicament to that of Sisyphus (if Sisyphus were alive today, he'll be the laughingstock anywhere he goes because of his unfortunate name). However, if our friend Mr. Phus could ever get a timeout from his rock pushing chores in Hades and somehow finds a way to read this blog -- an incredible feat considering that they blinded the poor fellow -- he may feel insulted. And for good reason. He, at least, is able to get close to the summit before his stone rolls back down again.

We as a nation could not even get halfway up our hill before the stone rolls all over us and sends us back anew. And if no one is looking we might even manage to find time to dig a deep hole at the foot of the hill to jack up the degree of difficulty just a tad.

We all know why Sisyphus was punished; he had this bad habit of attacking and murdering travelers and was greedy and deceitful.

"Much like the typical trapo," you might say. OK, then why didn't they get punished individually? Last I checked those guys are still wallowing in ill-gotten wealth and getting fatter by the day.

But what did we do as a nation to deserve such punishment? There are two widely accepted schools of thought on the matter.

The first one is that we are guilty as a nation of allowing Boy Abunda to pollute our airwaves virtually 24/7. The gods may have discovered that Abunda fancies himself as their gift to the Filipino people. The gods reportedly will be appeased only if Abunda changes his name to Gay instead of Boy although tossing him onto an erupting Mayon would also be an acceptable sacrifice.

The other theory is that we are in this mess because of Mike Enriquez. Enriquez, it is said, has single-handedly sparked a movement to force TV manufacturers to invent a chip that would automatically trigger the mute command whenever Enriquez opens his mouth on TV. Curiously, Mike's wife has reportedly secretly contacted said manufacturers and ordered a custom made remote control that renders Enriquez mute when the device is pointed at himself. It is believed that the gods, who were originally planning to strike Mike with several bolts of lightning, have agreed that the custom made remote control would be sufficient penance.

Now, although I agree that those two theories have merit, I think that what really ticked those gods off is the nightly sight of Mr. Know-it-all, Ernie Baron doing the weather report on TV Patrol. (Although I submit that the rest of the TV Patrol co-anchors report what passes of as 'news' in a tone that could easily be mistaken for an elder scolding a child, I don't think it merits punishing the entire nation.)

I don't know if Ka Ernie collates all the meteorological data himself and formulates his weather forecast on his own or (the more likely scenario) that he lifts the PAG-ASA forecast verbatim. The main beef with him is his closing spiel. The guy, a self-proclaimed walking encyclopedia, could not even pronounce the word 'WORLD' properly. It always comes out as 'WOLD.' There's got to be a page somewhere in the encyclopedia where proper pronunciation is taught.

There is still hope however. The gods have decreed that Baron could be forgiven and the nation spared if he agrees to join Game Ka Na Ba? and wins the 1 million peso jackpot. This is the best chance for Ka Ernie to finally prove his mettle. With his encyclopedic aptitude, we are in safe hands.

I just hope that they don't ask him the correct pronunciation of world in the jackpot round. Or spell the word Sisyphus, for that matter.