You know you've lived in the Middle East too long when...

Here is something that I first read while going on a Hash in Riyadh many full moons ago. It is quite old but it still very much applies.

I suppose some of the humor may be lost for readers who have never lived in the Mideast but then again -- maybe not. So here it is:

You know you've lived in the Middle East too long when...

1. You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat...

2. You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative...

3. You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read "insha'allah"...

4. You don't expect to eat dinner before 10:30 p.m...

5. You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees outside...

6. Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid...

7. You believe that speed limits are only advisory...

8. You have no problem with tractors driving 40kph on the highway...

9. You think all cops drive Audis and Mercedes Benzes...

10. You know whether or not you are within missile range of Iraq...

11. You get excited and spread the news when "Oreo" cookies show up at the grocery store...

12. You fully expect to go to jail when a local national hits the back of your car at a stop sign...

13. You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first...

14. You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light will turn green...

15. You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks...

16. You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn...

17. You think that all gas stations are made of marble...

18. You can receive every TV station crystal clear except the local one...

19. You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer...

20. You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought...

21. You expect gold for every birthday...

22. You think Pepsi begins with a "B"...

23. You think that a box of Kleenex belongs on every dinner table...

24. You think water only comes in bottles...

25. You understand that when someone says "Bukra (tomorrow), Insha'Allah" to you it really means "Sometime during this calendar year"...if you're lucky!